actually kind of warm out, little snow.

todays the first time the weather is decent enough for me to run since ive been in CT. its a little windy, but maybe ill just go for that really quick 5 mile loop around downtown stafford. 

should be fun!

Delaware

I went to go see Set Your Goals and Four Year Strong in MA the 27th, and it was sold out. I had been looking forward to that show for about a month. So after sulking for a few, i saw they were going to Delaware the next night. So I asked my friend if he wanted to go. So we got in a car and drove 7 and a half hours to Delaware. When we got there, the line was out the door, and we were an hour late. Tickets were sold out. Luckily, someone came up to me and asked if i needed a ticket. I paid him 30$ for that ticket. A 13$ ticket. Mike didn't have a ticket, and I did. I went up to a band, and i always feel so bad doing this, but i asked them if there was anyway they could get him in because after all, we did drive almost 8 hours to see the show. Such a nice band. 

We got in there, and it was like a tiny local venue! I had never been happier! Four Year Strong was flawless, but there were like 20 14year olds in frount of me who didn't even know any lyrics to any songs. That pissed me off. Set Your Goals was even better. I drove home and it only took 4 hours. I got home at 4am and went to bed at 5. Woke up today at 1pm. ahh, great night. Gotta go play Farmer and the Dell with the young'ns. Smell ya later!

time to start over and try a whole new life.

Christmas day; turned out good after all! Woke up at 7 and let Wyatt and Domanic open their stockings before everyone woke up. Its so nice to see little kids so excited about santa. My dumbass grandmother standing like one foot infrount of my little brother says, "Who wrote that Santa note on the cookie plate? You?" That got me angry. She just does not think. My little brother is 6 years old. Why would you take away something from a kid that makes them so happy. When you dont believe in Santa Clause anymore, most of your christmas spirit is demolished. You start looking forward to christmas for the gifts that your expecting, and not because you think you might catch santa sneeking around the fire place. You can no longer lay in bed tossing and turning for hours from the excitement. I wish no one took away my santa. This year i just believed in santa, in the sence of a miracle. My older brother is only 19, and im 18. So we get along pretty well. We dont get to see eachother much at all since i moved away for college. But last night we took a very long stroll down memory lane. I cant wait to go to his friends new years eve party. I think it should be really fun! 

This place is a bad environment for me. Bonding in my family is smoking a joint. When my dad JUST had a massive stroke.. To my knowlage, smoking and drinking is what got you there in the first place. Maybe he has just givin up. The economy is rough right now. Financially, its so hard to live. Maybe he just feels he can never get back on his feet and do anything. Maybe one day I could hit the lottery and give it all to them? After the first of the year, im not going to drink or smoke weed any more. To tell you the truth, smoking weed is getting so old. I say this as im smoking a bowl.. haha But ive been smoking weed since 7th grade. Thats almost 7 years. God, thats almost half of my life. And sophmore and junior year, i think i may have almost smoked every single day.. and if not id make up for skipping a day by smoking alot the next day. Its just gotten old and i definatly want change in my life. New Years Eve, i am DD. I have never been the only sober one. 

Its Christmas/ The New Year. Things will change. I have so much to look forward to next year! 

my horiscope for today is:

You feel as if you've just gotten out of school -- or prison. Your sense of freedom is almost tangible, and you might just decide that it's time to start over and try a whole new life.

Back in CT.

Ive been home for a whole week! I have to say, its nice to see my mom. I have missed her so incredibly much. She doesn't know how much she really means to me. She takes alot of crap here. When i'm home i just want to do so much for her, and hang out with her and do all that really fun stuff your sposed to do with your mom. Its really really good to see her. I already saw 7 of my friends! It snowed for 3 days straight. During those whole three days Sarah slept over and we went sleeding each day! We slept in my little brothers room, who is now 7, which is also my nephews room each night from like 7pm and woke up around 3am and not going back to bed. Then sled and palyed all day. Tomarow im going to New York City.

i just wish

i had someone to talk to right now.

but i think even if i did, i wouldn't know what to say. 

i don't know what's wrong but everything is not alright. 

Finals week.

I just woke up at 5:35 this morning to write a paper. I think its basically done. I don't have Word so i am not sure how many pages it is.  I hope i'm done, ill have to go print it out before class. 

I should go get ready for the day. 

Im getting a package from mike today, i need to prepare for that. who knows what it is.

And when you laugh, be sure to laugh out loud.
Because it'll carry all your cares away and when you see, 
see the beauty all around and in yourself, and it will help you feel okay.