time to start over and try a whole new life.

Christmas day; turned out good after all! Woke up at 7 and let Wyatt and Domanic open their stockings before everyone woke up. Its so nice to see little kids so excited about santa. My dumbass grandmother standing like one foot infrount of my little brother says, "Who wrote that Santa note on the cookie plate? You?" That got me angry. She just does not think. My little brother is 6 years old. Why would you take away something from a kid that makes them so happy. When you dont believe in Santa Clause anymore, most of your christmas spirit is demolished. You start looking forward to christmas for the gifts that your expecting, and not because you think you might catch santa sneeking around the fire place. You can no longer lay in bed tossing and turning for hours from the excitement. I wish no one took away my santa. This year i just believed in santa, in the sence of a miracle. My older brother is only 19, and im 18. So we get along pretty well. We dont get to see eachother much at all since i moved away for college. But last night we took a very long stroll down memory lane. I cant wait to go to his friends new years eve party. I think it should be really fun! 

This place is a bad environment for me. Bonding in my family is smoking a joint. When my dad JUST had a massive stroke.. To my knowlage, smoking and drinking is what got you there in the first place. Maybe he has just givin up. The economy is rough right now. Financially, its so hard to live. Maybe he just feels he can never get back on his feet and do anything. Maybe one day I could hit the lottery and give it all to them? After the first of the year, im not going to drink or smoke weed any more. To tell you the truth, smoking weed is getting so old. I say this as im smoking a bowl.. haha But ive been smoking weed since 7th grade. Thats almost 7 years. God, thats almost half of my life. And sophmore and junior year, i think i may have almost smoked every single day.. and if not id make up for skipping a day by smoking alot the next day. Its just gotten old and i definatly want change in my life. New Years Eve, i am DD. I have never been the only sober one. 

Its Christmas/ The New Year. Things will change. I have so much to look forward to next year! 

my horiscope for today is:

You feel as if you've just gotten out of school -- or prison. Your sense of freedom is almost tangible, and you might just decide that it's time to start over and try a whole new life.