I have been so distracted lately. Sometimes I feel like if I didnt write myself a list of things to-do almost daily that I wouldnt accomplish anything! Tomarow is the day I start excersizing again. Staffordville lake felt so nice today, I swam all the buoys back and forth a couple times. Not so nice when I take the sea weeds out from my belly button. People are having a hard time living in Connecticut. Everyone is getting laid off from their jobs. Its getting hard to live here. I've spent way too much money since ive been here, but I think it was well spent. Im getting really worried about not being able to pay for school this semster. What will I do, what will I do. I made a good trail in the woods. Finally perfected it tonight. Walking down all of the dam I could see my life flash before my eyes. The time Jamie went down the side of the hill mid January in just his boxers and landing in the brook. I may have been 7 or 8. Sleding until all of my clothes were wet, keep sleding until my wet clothes were frozen. Making movies with Shelby with Mates of State our background music. I had so much fun sleding on those hills. That was the fun thing to do. Now the field is more like a medow and it is all over grown, filled with grasshoppers and the weeds and grass is up to your waist. I give alot of people credit for having heart. People as a whole. I think that is really important to believe, although im sure something will come along making me rethink that. I really hope not.
Im getting really tired of having the feeling of wanting a boyfriend. Im stuck at a bad point in a relationship right now, even though we are not dating. When we talk it feels fake, or its snide remarks. I don't really like having boyfriends all that much. I'd love to feel young and in love but I don't like settling, or settling down. I want a guy that is just like me. Determined and adventurous. A guy who has a good head on his sholder and was just raised well. I want to pray before dinner. Im thinking about taking texting off my phone. Id like to be detatched from as much technology that I can handle. I still need to call my mom, get music, and my webmail. Definaltly not facebook and myspace. Definatly not.
Catching up with Shelby's parents made me feel really loved. Her mom asking endless questions, and interested in my life. About an hour or so later in the basement with Shelby, her mom walks down. Tells us she thinks the cat can comunicate with the family. Which is nothing out of the ordinary from her. She is so spiritual, I envy her. But she said she would be home soon and walked away. About a minute after "Im about to say something really lame Shelby, dont be mad at me. Brittany, you are such an inspiration. You have so much spirit inside of you that you will do anything that you want to do in life." I love her. That made me feel so good.


ps. I cried when I read your post, Im the one who gets inspired by you. You are a good person.

Turns out we are not going to Maine, I'm totally fine with that because I'd rather go to the beach and Six Flags with my parents and my brother. Ive been eating too much, not excersizing enough and it's making me feel like crap. I was thinking last night of things I would want to be when I grow up and I thought of a travel journalist. I could pull that off. So then I dropped my math class and singed up for a journalism class. I want to make a list of things that I want to avoid when school starts. Like check my facebook each day. And text. Shelby is selling me her camera. Im happy about that. Im getting better at deaching myself. I'm looking online for decorations for my apartment.

These dogs are insane. Winston barks all the time! Im so side tracted right now. Im going to finish my trail going to the dam.

Blessed is this life and im going to celebrate being alive.

I like the feeling of not having a home, or atleast just one place to call home. I feel like im a runaway when I take the greyhound with just my backpack and my sleeping bag. I relized that I need to work on not getting so attached to a place or a thing im doing. I was too sad to leave Boy Scout Camp. I had a great great time, and I was so ready to leave and start something new. It got me teary eyed to say goodbye to some people.
At camp I experienced alot of new fun things. I taught a learn to swim class and that was touching. To make these kids learn to swim ment so much to them. I had a kid who had downs and his dad took the class with him so he would feel more comfortable. He loved the class. We had a bunch of fun and he looked forward to it everyday. It made me happy. I taught a snorkling class, and learned how to snorkel. :) I canoed, kayaked, rowing, did my lifegaurd certification, CPR/First Aid, I learned quite a bit about wilderness survival.. I'd like to learn a whole lot more though. I dressed up like Allowat Sakima in front of the campfire and dressed up like indians and lit the fire. I kayaked out to a big rock face and jumped off of a 25-30ft cliff into the water, many times. I learned how to drive a motor boat, water ski, t-bone a canoe. I swam everyday and got a really nice tan. I had a crush. I skinnydipped in the lake in the wee hours of the morn'. I was in the middle of nowhere tennessee for 3 months. It was the hickest place I had ever been to. There was this house on the corner of this really windy road that had chickens. LOTS of chickens. Rosters also I suppose. This man was about 300lbs, always shirtless and outside feeding these chickens. He had a million cages with more than one in each. It was something that I would like to see in National Geographic. I sat by a campfire and drank and sang camp songs. I pulled pranks that were harmless and funny. I stayed 3 extra days volunteering. Me and Mark trail blazed. We worked on the Frank Bowman which is like a 4 mile hike in the woods on the side of a mountain. All up hill. Steeeeep. We painted taxi cab yellow boy scout emblems on trees to mark the trail. I saw a raccoon right outside my tent eating some crackers. It tried to get inside and it seemed fearless. I saved up some money. I crossed off about 25 goals on my list of 100 goals for 2009. I listened to alot of bluegrass. I went to Bonnaroo. I got closer to a good friend. I grew up a little more, and experienced something new. Im happy with where I am right now. Tomarow morning I am getting on a plane to Connecticut. I am excited to see my family and a few friends. Others I do not want to see, but I would be rude to not. Ill be spending a week in Maine, and after i will go back to hartford and then New York City, Washington DC, Richmond VA, stay a few nights a Tims, catch up with him a little. Then im off to Pittsburgh PA, Columbus OH, Cincinatti, then Kentucky to visit Josh for a few days. Then back to Nashville to work for 10 days then move into my apartment. I am making the BEST out of my summer. I am definatly loving life. I'll try to get another post in mid aug.

Nashville for three days

Alot to say, not enough motivation to put it all into words. Now is a good time to reflect on how my summer went, my beliefs, my future, and the people I surround myself with.
Change is good.