I have been so distracted lately. Sometimes I feel like if I didnt write myself a list of things to-do almost daily that I wouldnt accomplish anything! Tomarow is the day I start excersizing again. Staffordville lake felt so nice today, I swam all the buoys back and forth a couple times. Not so nice when I take the sea weeds out from my belly button. People are having a hard time living in Connecticut. Everyone is getting laid off from their jobs. Its getting hard to live here. I've spent way too much money since ive been here, but I think it was well spent. Im getting really worried about not being able to pay for school this semster. What will I do, what will I do. I made a good trail in the woods. Finally perfected it tonight. Walking down all of the dam I could see my life flash before my eyes. The time Jamie went down the side of the hill mid January in just his boxers and landing in the brook. I may have been 7 or 8. Sleding until all of my clothes were wet, keep sleding until my wet clothes were frozen. Making movies with Shelby with Mates of State our background music. I had so much fun sleding on those hills. That was the fun thing to do. Now the field is more like a medow and it is all over grown, filled with grasshoppers and the weeds and grass is up to your waist. I give alot of people credit for having heart. People as a whole. I think that is really important to believe, although im sure something will come along making me rethink that. I really hope not.
Im getting really tired of having the feeling of wanting a boyfriend. Im stuck at a bad point in a relationship right now, even though we are not dating. When we talk it feels fake, or its snide remarks. I don't really like having boyfriends all that much. I'd love to feel young and in love but I don't like settling, or settling down. I want a guy that is just like me. Determined and adventurous. A guy who has a good head on his sholder and was just raised well. I want to pray before dinner. Im thinking about taking texting off my phone. Id like to be detatched from as much technology that I can handle. I still need to call my mom, get music, and my webmail. Definaltly not facebook and myspace. Definatly not.
Catching up with Shelby's parents made me feel really loved. Her mom asking endless questions, and interested in my life. About an hour or so later in the basement with Shelby, her mom walks down. Tells us she thinks the cat can comunicate with the family. Which is nothing out of the ordinary from her. She is so spiritual, I envy her. But she said she would be home soon and walked away. About a minute after "Im about to say something really lame Shelby, dont be mad at me. Brittany, you are such an inspiration. You have so much spirit inside of you that you will do anything that you want to do in life." I love her. That made me feel so good.


ps. I cried when I read your post, Im the one who gets inspired by you. You are a good person.